Elderly’s Children Emigration

After emigration, I understand that the elderly parents worried not only losing their families members and their support, but also "if their children are not beside them when they passed away, who will help them arrange their after deaths’ arrangement" or

Although illnesses and deaths are taboos in the Chinese society, these are the practical issues which the elderly care about. You are recommended to discuss with your elderly parents on these issues as soon as possible and come up with an "advance care plan" when the elderly still has mental capacity to make decision. Elderly parents may express their preference regarding medical treatment, financial and funeral arrangement.  For example, if the health of your elderly parents deteriorates in some days, will they stay in the community or admit to aged home? If they are terminally ill, will they receive life sustaining treatment? For example, financial and property arrangements, do they have a plan to prepare a will to settle these? How their funeral to be arranged? In fact, the elderly attach a great importance to these matters, they will feel very worried without any planning. If they plan these earlier, it will reduce their anxiety.  Even they will not emigrate, you can still discuss with your elderly parents on their “advance care plan”.  If their main caregiver emigrates, the caring duties may be shared among other siblings. It is difficult to communicate in emergency situations with distance, which may easily lead to misunderstanding and conflict. Hence, prior communication and understanding with advance care planning can offer elderly parents and their family members peace of mind.

Source: Ms. Yip, Elderly Services Social Worker, Hong Kong Family Welfare Society